While I'm busy editing and clipping the interviews for the forth coming 3 months of blogs about woolly based fleece businesses to slowly get us all in the mood for winter, I should say I've been doing a lot of chatting to other people involved in running rural businesses. Its impact on them, what they love about what they do and of course talking about how hard they work to achieve what they have done.
It has of course got me doing lots of thinking about all those people working damn hard everyday. It's had me thinking about how we all manage our health both physical and mental, how we find support if anyone needs it and of course how valuable being connected really is to everyone. Sometimes those working with their own business work well over the 'standard' number of hours someone who is employed works. So why do we all do it? Recently on a post from a smallholders group a lady had asked about goats. She saw a lot of people keeping them but wanted to know why. I replied explaining in a summary that we kept them as part of a business, soap, workshops, dairy our own cheese making and milk. I had obviously to the following person oversold what we were doing and it all sounded lovely. His comment surprised me, negative and expectant in its tone that my anticipated response would be negative also "well you're right, I'm earning less than minimum wage so thats pants right..."
This was his comment...
And it struck me. Is that all life is supposed to be about? Working only ever equals your hourly rate? Is that how we value what we do? I've known plenty of people earning lots of money per hour who were desperately miserable. I would even be able to go as far as say that was me. Lost in life wondering what the hell I could do that actually felt right... It's only now that I feel like I'm on the right path. Everything behind me has set me up to do all of this now. This was my response to him.
So what about others feeling the same, that might even mean you reading this now. Maybe you want something new, you haven't totally decided yet, but what if you could find your new road. We should be empowering people to feel like anything is possible because this is how life for people blooms.
Now I don't mean I'm telling everyone to create a business, no, far from it. For a time for me gardening was what made me happy and fulfilled. For some it's going fishing, for others joining a club, crafting, arranging flowers for church, enjoying your family time, making art. For some it's charity work on their weekend off. We all need a 'thing' that drives us to get out of bed each day. For some strange people it's getting up at 5am and going for a run! Whatever floats your boat is the saying.
However to come back to business and specifically those of us out there who do run one about something that we are passionate about, we have to feel that what we do is valued. Every item hand crafted is a bit of us. Our passion, our skills all being put out there. What people may not always see is the huge amount of work that goes on in the background. The stress, the livestock, life and death. We all worry about grass growth, either too much or too little. Healthy stock and dead stock and the stock in the middle who can't quite decide if they want you to know all the symptoms of their illness in time for you to treat them before they decide to put themselves firmly in the dead pile despite your best efforts.
Then there is the isolation, or the sense of it despite being surrounded by a community of people who you know. I live and work alone for now 4 days a week, longer if the husband is working more days but I'm very lucky to have someone who wants to do this lifestyle also and also someone who supports what I am trying to achieve. Some crafty individuals or farmers are doing it all on their own. Every task, every decision made by them alone. It can break some people and it does regularly. You only need to read up on some of the farming and rural mental health charities and some well known facebook groups to see how in demand help is and not always from the one who is struggling.
When you support a rural business you are supporting someone through all of the above. Every purchase for me is support, you support the goats and you support my time and my plans. it really runs that deep. It is I think the same for everyone so take the time to offer that feedback. Mental health in rural areas despite being surrounded by green everywhere can be challenging to manage for even the most happy of us all out.
My previous role as a cop has me well placed to chat about this topic. I've seen the younger generation describe having a crisis because they've had a bad day, because things got a bit stressed. And perhaps it's my age when I want to say "Thats life!" We all have that from time to time.... What definelty helps is having a friend or family member you can just ring up and rant about the issues for a spell, get the weight off you and on occasion have the opportunity to get some perspective on the issue from another angle. Perhaps things are not as bad as you first through? I am absolutely sure we have all had that happen to us before. For me a big part of mental health is about those suffering issues that they cannot control, spiralling and not seeing it. Which can be driven by years of pressure not being dealt with or massive life changing events which we are all potentially exposed to because in life anything can happen and sometimes it does. Breakdowns in people where they lose control of themselves for whatever reason. In general we should, if we can but then also takes a lot of self awareness and focus, all be mindful of our brain, our internal monologue. We hopefully all have friends or family who are there for us and who can just let us talk things through. I think if we all focused on staying balanced and taking time out for ourselves there would be less mental health issues overall. Stress would drop and whilst our lives would always have blips, the ups and downs more of us would find ways to accept the lows and move on or have the strength to get through them.
I've dealt with people in those situations, where their mental health was compromised and it was on a runaway train, chemicals and neurons firing away with no way for the person to control it all. I recall a lady brought into custody one evening. A screaming, crying banshee. She was WILD. Eyes wide with hate, and fear, uncontrollable in every way. Of course it didn't help that she needed to be strip searched. For what reason I can't recall but it's only ever done (in my time ignoring recent newspapers about the topic) with same sex officers and it's done with as much respect to the individual as possible with the thought in your mind always that you don't want a call back saying they took loads of drugs they had stashed on their person and died overnight so do it quickly but do it right and only when necessary.
Because of her behaviour she needed to be monitored constantly which means an officer sits there with them, for every minute..... 24hrs if necessary whilst whatever she was in for was dealt with. Ultimately she needed to calm down, although this phrase is often not very helpful.
I stayed, having been the one to try to communicate the most with her throughout and the one who despite her not being my prisoner took charge of the search and spoke to her throughout. After we had finished the other officers hovered near the door ready to rush back in if she went for me. She sat there in a blanket (don't worry I inspired her to get dressed later) and I sat opposite on a chair that had been brought to me.
I spoke softly and whilst I cannot recall the conversation I can only say I brought her down from the epic high level of stress she was experiencing. She calmed, and her heart rate dropped, because stress like that on people can literally kill them. We ended up chatting together. I'd sent the other officers away from the door long ago that after about 45 minutes the Custody Sergeant suddenly appeared at the door. Myself and the previous banshee were both laughing about something and his face was a picture. She was sat crossed legged, dressed finally in clothes that were provided to her sitting up and laughing with me. He was utterly shocked that the monster that had been dragged in was now fully in control. I'd simply taken the time to explain why we'd searched her and was honest in what I said like saying frankly I'd rather grab a brew than be fighting with a naked wild woman in custody. The honesty is what broke the barriers. She was in fact suffering a breakdown and a mental crisis. She was able to speak to the doctor in custody and get herself back on track, whatever that track was for her. That day always stuck with me. After that for a few months anyway if there was someone else in custody who was struggling like she did I would be asked... Are you free? Jokingly it might have been said but equally it made me realise some people just find it all too difficult to talk to someone having a crisis, or someone who's upset and needs to talk. So everyone needs to find that one person they can talk to someone you feel comfortable around and importantly doesn't judge, no one is perfect.
Recently I've been chatting to lots of lovely people, some positive life experiences and some not so regarding aspects of rural business. Low moods hit us all, anyone who says they never have that black cloud come over occasionally is either perpetually stoned or lying. We all need that mental health pick up, that positivity in our day. We should all be able to connect with someone who doesn't even have to understand but someone who can just listen without judgement.
So my question to you is this,
Are You Happy?
and if the answer is no then...
Are You Doing Something About It?
Do you have someone (even online) you can talk to? Have you connected via a group to people who want to do what you want to? Have you talked about what's bothering you? Sometimes the simple act of speaking about your mood, a bad event ongoing can lift the weight. It really does help to share the weight of what is holding you down.
Find a supportive network and stick with it, take courses, learn online, learn face to face, learn something new! Anything....
If you run a business a rural one then you could join my Smallholders & Rural Business Support Network on Facebook. We offer support more targeted at small business and a place to ask questions away from your general customer base and get feedback before you commit to something, much like I did this week with a new banner design. Needless to say the advice was spot on and I'm re-designing it this week. It is also a space I want people to feel comfortable coming on and taking about the good and the bad because a problem shared and all that...
Life is about movement, creation and planning ahead. That is why even millionaires having sold a business or cashed in start something new. Life is movement, but don't forget to enjoy what you have no matter what it is. Life doesn't get any better if you buy that new couch or get that bigger TV although I will make one concession to that statement, life is definitely better when you've been able to treat yourself to some new bedding which I have finally done after 7years.
"The power for creating a better future is contained in the present moment: You create a good future by creating a good present"
Eckhart Tolle
So whatever you are working towards whether that is millions in the bank or that cottage on the hill with the sea view, keep going.
What's my mood right now? Well I have some daily stressors, animals still need moving about. I would have loved to have sold more by now but not many people are buying so that expense of keeping them over winter is hanging there in the air. A new barn to build, not enough money yet for that, more concrete needed - just two small pads but ones that will make all the difference to us and the animals over winter and of course workshops next year. What else... plenty but it's all life stuff that will be here next year and the year after. Does that all matter to me? No in some ways I operate better under some stress because my brain engages. I feel less sluggish, what can I say, I did used to enjoy tactics training so perhaps its a hang on from that past life..
I'll look forward to talking to more of you out there to talk business, because each one teaches me something and I find myself motivated by others plans, their products, crafts and skills. Of course I'm always here if anyone wants to message me or ring me up to chat.
The only thing I now do better is switch off. So all next week I'll be making soap morning and evening and during the day once emails have been dealt with and orders processed I'm off out into the gardens (gardens that I made far too big so that causes me stress as I have to weed it all and cut the grass!) and I'll be gardening. Probably listening to a pod cast or two whilst I potter away in the soil.
The sun is now over the UK so make sure you all have a good weekend and make some plans for next week.
Emma